The Power of Intuition
I wake up every day and think, “is this real”?
I have a five-week-old beautiful son, a non-stop ball of energy three-year -old and a non-stop ball of energy, amazing, hard working, motivated and handsome husband.
How did I get here? I feel so blessed and grateful every single day. Thank you God for your great gifts that you bestow to us on Earth. Life is such a beautiful journey.
I am in a profoundly grateful and awestruck mood because of my family, but also because I surfed this morning. There was no temperature. The water and the air were so perfect no heat nor cold were felt. The waves were two feet (small and mellow). In a word: fun. I came out of the ocean radiating happiness partly because the weather was so nice (a seventy degree sunny day in October), and every weekend prior was cold, rainy, or cloudy, but also because I was back out surfing after giving birth. My official first day back out was last week, Oct. 1st, but it was cold-really cold. Hands and feet numb shaking cold. I went out four days prior to today. Today was the first warm day. The water was clear. Gliding over the sandbar I could see the sand-shallow and clear. I went back out four weeks after giving birth. I couldn’t wait any longer. My six-week postpartum visit is Wednesday. I couldn’t wait. I felt ready-mentally, physically, and emotionally. I thought I didn’t need the Dr. telling me when I was ready. I know how I feel in my body. I know what it feels like to surf. A month out of the ocean felt like a long cold winter that never ends. It was grueling. Not really long in real time. However, in sleep deprived on the edge of crying every day hormonal roller coaster self-pitying time it’s a long time.
Birth is a physical war. My body felt like a battle-field: sore, tired, pain in unusual places. I also felt like a liquid zombie breastfeeding and lacking sleep. I knew when I was ready to go back out. I trusted my body, and my intuition.
I also trusted my intuition to have a VBAC. My Drs. told me I wasn’t a good candidate. People were questioning, “Why do you think it would work”? I didn’t know just like I don’t know why surfing is so euphoric. I just know it is and that’s enough. Thankfully, it did work. I was so happy that I trusted my intuition. It reminds me of a creed I like, a favorite poem by Mary Oliver “The Journey.” Don’t listen to anyone else. Be still and listen. The answer is always inside.